die, bleeding heart liberal!
Next to each other in the Lincoln Park Golf Course parking lot:
A slick black 2005 Mercedes convertible; on the bumper:
"A proud member of the reality-based community."
A dented blue early 90s Honda Civic Hatchback; a hand-drawn sign in the back window:
"What if we could replace shock and awe with love and wonder?" (with little hearts and flowers)
After a long bike ride yesterday from my house, along the coast, through Sutro Park, by the newly renovated Cliff House and brand-new Park Chalet Restaurant at the western end of Golden Gate Park, I stopped by Java Beach Cafe for a mocha and a conversation with the most conservative man in San Francisco.
"There are only 55,000 registered Republicans in San Francisco. I'm one of them," says Jack, a 65-year-old retired Merchant Marine who plays golf every day, has traveled to 97 countries and is quick to share with me the details of his exploits with Brazilian, Indian and Thai prostitutes. "These little boys would come to the ship as soon as we arrive and say 'Hey! for $5 I take you to my mother!' and we all think, 'great!' What a life I tell you!" The couple at the next table bury their faces in their respective hands and trigonometry book.
"I make Michael Savage look like a bleeding heart liberal," he proclaims between noshes on a sesame bagel washed down by plain drip coffee. "And what about this Gavin Newsome? He ain't nothin' but a homosexual. And he's got nothin' but lesbians and homosexuals working for him. This city's going to hell." The couple next to us leaves. I smile and nod, careful to avoid revealing my own political proclivities in order to encourage his further candor. Apparently unable to detect my disgust disguised with impassivity or to pin me as a liberal in my biking clothes and helmet, his musings continued until I excused myself to "get home before dark."
"Ha! Looks like I drove off that couple next to us. I did it on purpose, raising my voice just to make sure they heard me. They must be pansy liberals, those two!" Guess that makes three of us.
posted by Allison A @ 2:16:00 AM
1 Comments:
Another gem from Ms. Falk's pen. Love the verisimilitude with the bumper stickers and dialogue. Have you considered, I don't know, posting some kind of regular online diary or web-based log? A "leb", maybe, they should call it. Yeah. You'd be good at it.
Comment 1: Dude sounds more reactionary, or at least homephobic, than conservative. Dang current crop of Republicans has fucked it all up in people's minds. I'm no Republican, but it breaks my heart that McCain didn't win the primaries in 2000.
Comment 2: The reader wonders...where does one sign up to have coffee with the most conservative man in SF? Is it a special website? Or does one just fall into the conversation serendipitously?
Comment 3: Allison Falk has one of the beautiful souls I've ever encountered. Her musings and honesty are a precious thing to which the world -- and her friends -- should be thankful. I look forward to making a small sketchy living off of "I knew Allison before she was a famous novelist" T-shirts in 2010. Odd that there ain't more comments here.
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