The dick nicker

I came home from work today to find an empty box addressed to me sitting on the front porch. A lone piece of packaging tissue sat discarded to the side. Somebody stole my penis piñata, and I am not happy.

I mean, it's bad enough to open someone else's mail. But to bust it open, discover the contents are a worthless papier mache penis and *still* take off with it? Well that's just sick and cruel. I am hoping at her bachelorette party tomorrow night, the bride-to-be won't be too disappointed to learn she will be pummeling a second-hand penis piñata left over from a mutual friend's recent birthday party. With a little duct tape, a blindfold, a bite of her chocolate penis cake and a beer or two, maybe she won't notice the difference.

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Yesterday I was working in the South Bay and pulled up at a stop light behind a black Trans-Am decorated with a variety of pro-America, pro-Bush, pro-Republican bumper stickers (including one for KRTY 95.3 Country Radio). The one smack in the middle read, "How did our oil get under their soil?" Is it just me, or does that sound like an anti-war rally slogan created by someone with intelligence and a sense of irony? I can't even begin to imagine the thought process this particular driver went through when selecting this sticker at his local carwash.

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Last weekend, my friend Maureen and I went to the Brass Tax campout at Red, White and Blue Beach in Santa Cruz (the same kids who throw the annual Halloween Sunrise Renegade party). The weather was gorgeous. The beach was perfect. The moon was huge. The beats were booming. After the morning's pancakes and bacon, I even got to help my friend Tim deflate his giant inflatable gorilla by wrestling and climbing all over it. Good times!







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This weekend is Pride Weekend in San Francisco. For those unfamiiar, 'Pride' means Gay Pride, though some years back the word 'Gay' was deemed too narrow a descriptor for the thousands of diverse Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgendered folks in this town, so the 'Gay' dropped off and the word 'Pride' took on a meaning of its own. There will be a colorful parade and countless parties as the Bay Area's proud, strong, house-music-loving Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgendered community and their friends get a little crazy.

Me, well I'll be observing straightness at my friend Stacy's bachelorette party on Friday and another friend's engagement party on Saturday. 'Tis the season.

Happy summer everyone!